What I Learned From Dreading Side Plank.
Last week I attended a yoga class with a teacher I really like. We began our warm up and the gentle movements felt good. As we moved into our flow, I realized the theme of the class was side plank. My heart groaned. Side plank is a pose I have always struggled with. Immediately my thoughts started yelling at me: You can’t do this, this class is ruined, you will struggle, you should have just slept in. Why is the teacher doing this to me? I composed a full symphony of complaints and excuses and whining in my head. But I stayed on my mat, made my modifications, and begrudgingly went along with the class.
During the second time through the sequence, I admitted to myself that maybe it wasn’t so bad. But when I realized we were going for a third round I thought, well this is excessive! and began the spiral all over again.
And then I had the light bulb moment. This is it! THIS is the yoga lesson! This is why I come here: I realized that I was meeting the reality of the present moment with resistance rather than acceptance. The reality is, slide plank is here. There is no problem with side plank itself - it’s my attitude and the stories I tell myself about side plank that are upsetting me. My aversion to side plank is creating the problem.
I had two choices: I could meet the moment with acceptance - go along for the ride by making my modifications, breathing, and trusting that the side planks were just a blip in my day. Or, I could ruin my practice and possibly my day by climbing aboard the crazy train of thoughts and moans and complaints of the unfairness of it all.
And this is why we practice the poses - our asana practice is the perfect low-stakes environment for observing ourselves and how we relate to the thoughts and feelings that are always arising - especially aversion and resistance. Part of tuning inward in our practice is cultivating an awareness of our thoughts.
Most of us probably cycle through a wide variety of feelings during a yoga class. I love this! I hate this! I am confused, I feel wobbly, this is unfamiliar, I’m not sure I’m doing this right, this feels really good, this feels very awkward, I don’t like this, I want this part to be over, is it time to lie down yet?
And isn’t this collection of thoughts and opinions identical to the ones we cycle through during our day to day lives?
Because this is life. Reality will arrive whether we like it or not, and it does not always bring us our preferences. There’s going to be traffic. The line will be long. It will rain on a day we hoped would be sunny. Are we going to have a better time if we accept the reality that arrives or if we launch into a mental fight against what’s here? Have you ever successfully wished a traffic jam away? I haven’t.
In yoga philosophy, there are 5 kleshas, or obstacles to our happiness. One of them is Raga - seeking to feel good. Another one is Dvesha - seeking to avoid feeling bad.
What’s wrong with seeking feeling good and avoiding feeling bad? How could that cause unhappiness? Because life brings you a constant and ever changing flow of things you like and things you don’t. If our happiness is conditional on only getting what you want, we’re likely not going to be happy very often.
If our happiness does not require having our preferences met in each moment, then we probably will be happier more of the time. And this can be experienced as freedom. When we can accept the present moment just as it is, there is no problem, no cause for unhappiness. When we resist the present moment and fight against it, now we’re creating suffering.
This is a choice we get to make over and over each day.
And on our mats, we get a bonus. Not only do we get to practice choosing to meet the present moment with acceptance, we also get to practice staying with sensations that may feel uncomfortable or unfamiliar or confusing or awkward. Instead of immediately pushing those sensations away, on the mat we are in a safe space where we can stay and breathe, perhaps make our modifications, and discover that we do have the ability to stay with the discomfort (not pain, if you’re in pain, make any adjustments you need to relieve it) and breathe through it instead of immediately pushing it away (take that, dvesha!)
When we practice tolerating discomfort on the mat, it may begin to show up in other areas of our life. When the scary or awkward or uncomfortable moment arrives at work, you know what to do, because you’ve practiced that side plank flow during yoga class, relying on your breath and accepting that this is the reality that is happening right now. And you know that you were okay, it wasn’t a catastrophe, it didn’t ruin your day, and maybe even it felt good to accomplish the difficult thing. Our yoga practice can be where we practice for life.